Shoot Me Now!!!

I went to the doc on Thursday to have my Group Beta Strep test and the exam and while the doctor examined me she looked at me and said "Honey you are 4-5cm dilated". I started sweating and was shocked like so many other times with this pregnancy. She sent me to the hospital to be monitored for an hour and a half. While I was being monitored they gave me a shot to calm my contractions but it didn't work and I progressed to a 6 so they said I would spend the night. I got an ultrasound, IV, and a chat from the anesthesiologist. I even had all my jewelry off. I sent the kids to my friends house for the night and started to slightly panic. I didn't feel ready, I worried about the babies being too early and them telling me they would definitely need to spend time in the NICU for a little while didn't help either. BUT as you can see, it is now Saturday evening and no babies. I AM ON BED REST IN THE HOSPITAL UNTIL THEY COME!!! This is horrible. I am so antsy and hate the fact that I have to depend fully on other people. I feel so guilty. BUT when I really think about it I would much rather the babies have a week or whatever longer to develop and me sit on my butt then have them out and in the incubator hooked up to everything.

Another plan I had that has to be changed is my birthing plan. I really wanted to deliver them without any meds, like Tate, but was open to the fact that many twin births deliver via C-section but really didn't want that since I have the 2 boys to go home to let alone taking care of twins. But, while talking to the doc and the position of baby "B" I would have to sit pretty while the doc "reaches her hand inside and grabs baby "B's" head and guides it down". I don't really want to feel that. There are about 10 other scenarios that could happen so I am opting for the drugs. I am disappointed because my recovery with Tate was so easy and the epidural slowed down my delivery tons. OH WELL, Right? Really, the more and more I think about it I know it is the better choice. I will be able to concentrate on them verses staying in my zone.

Another selfish and vain plan that was changed WAS MY HAIR APPOINTMENT! I scheduled a hair appointment immediately after Jared called me a granny (in complete sarcasm) when he saw all my gray roots. I wanted to make sure I got one in before I had the babies. No such luck. I will have to be The Granny that gave birth to twins. I was wishing the hospital had a salon or traveling hair lady for such a situation. I haven't had the nerve to ask yet.

The other plan that was changed was the family birthday party for the boys we were supposed to have on Sunday. Luckily I wasn't going all out and didn't have much ready for it yet but I had to call everyone and cancel. Hopefully we will be able to have one later for them and be able to include the babies too.

I apologize for all the whining and complaining. I have it so good and I better keep my mouth shut or I will be shown some true hard times. I am feeling sorry for myself but I am one of the most blessed people in the whole world. I have amazing friends and family. Speaking of which, I really want to thank my brother and sister-in-law and Mindy for watching the boys. It was really hard for me to do but I know they would do it again for us in a heartbeat. THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! Also, my mother-in-law for staying a month and a half to help.

Let me know if any of you have any good ideas as to what to do to keep my sanity while sitting on my booty.